Do children grieve as others? Yes and no. It depends upon their cognitive and emotional development and relation to their loss. Who do we expect to help a child with their grief when a parent or sibling dies? The surviving parent or guardian. That parent will have to manage their own grief, and, if it is the other parent that has died, they have to comfort their child while they learn how to be a single parent. They, like their child, will need support.
What happens if the parent is so overwhelmed with their own sorrow that they forget to tend to their child’s sorrow as well without realizing and quite unintentional? Depending on the age of the child and their cognitive and emotional development. they may flounder and not process their grief, and healing may be delayed or suffer stagnation altogether. Thus, we can see the importance of outside support from other family members, friends and others who may be available, hence a strong the need for a strong support system.
Many factors can effect the grief response of a child beyond cognitive and emotional development. Some include gender, religious and ethnic customs, relationship to and with the person who has died or their relationship to the circumstances surrounding the loss, prior grief experiences, support available, possible prior unresolved grief, physical and mental health, personal resilience and ability to cope with stress. Children feel the pain of loss but do not have the coping skills that adults have developed. Children often express their feelings of grief through behavior. Grief may not show on the outside but rather hide their sadness, denying the reality or seem unaffected. Their grief may also be cyclical as they typically do not tolerate long periods of sadness. They need attention and support just as adults.
Call David at 879-6284.
