There is the story of a father who had many sons and who loved one more than the others. The remaining brothers were jealous of the brother so much they sought to kill him, but instead, he was sold into slavery, and his clothing dipped in blood to make the father believe that his son had been killed by a wild animal. The father said concerning his grief, “I will go down to my grave mourning.”
Love indeed is apt to fear the worst concerning the person beloved. Those who can identify with a parent who loses a child can understand the grief and put their heart in the same place as this parent finds themselves. How often does this parent then rehearse the supposed sequence of events that they believe could have happened in their child’s misery? Whether asleep or awake, they imagine and replay events they create in their mind of the wild beast pouncing upon his child and think they hear their child’s cry of agony. Why would the parent walk the journey with grief all the way to their grave? Because they refused to be comforted.
How many people who have suffered tremendous trauma and loss in their life utterly refuse to be consoled? Is it because the person believes the sorrow to be too great for them to bear? Or, is it because they choose to live in their misery in deference to the departed or themselves? There is an old proverb that says, “There are three things that are never satisfied; four that do not say ‘enough:’ The grave, the barren womb; the earth that is not satisfied with water; and the fire that does not say ‘Enough.’” It describes metaphorically insatiable things in life. With some it may be their grief is insatiable, and the reasons remain their own.
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